School Report: HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

The close of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the penultimate book in J.K. Rowling's series, leaves in question the future of Harry's school. Will parents be willing to send their children to a boarding school that, despite every precaution, was recently attacked by Death Eaters? While the invaders gained access only with the help of an insider (now removed), how many parents will still believe the school's line about protective enchantments making it the safest place in these troubled times, with so many getting won over to the Dark Side, and terrorists lurking everywhere? Even with sufficient enrollment, how will Hogwarts solve its current leadership crisis? And who will teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, a vital discipline that's been unable to retain an instructor for more than a year?

With these issues all up in the air, now seems like a good time to assess Hogwarts: what it has stood for, its success rate so far, and its chances of survival.

Mission and Philosophy

Many people from the Pope on down have expressed opinions about the advisability of encouraging children to immerse themselves in tales of witchcraft and magic. At Hogwarts, rooms clean themselves à la Mary Poppins; bruises heal instantly, doors open at the touch of a wand. It may indeed be wrong to give youngsters the impression that problems can disappear so easily. But the really big problems in the Harry Potter books persist with real-life tenacity and complexity. Hatred festers for generations. Characters seem bent on not only hurting one another personally but effecting widespread destruction. (Sound familiar?)

Anyone who has actually read the books (as opposed to propaganda about them) will know that the message taught at Hogwarts has consistently been one of moral rectitude. Magic, like earthly powers, can be used for either good or evil, and the Hogwarts administration has come down firmly on the side of good. The latest book contains a flashback in which the series' villain, the still young Voldemort—(let's face it, only the uncool and/or cowardly refer to him as "He Who Must Not Be Named")—tells Headmaster Albus Dumbledore he's found no evidence out in the world of what Dumbledore has tried to teach him: that "love is more powerful than my kind of magic." But Dumbledore has a new protégé now—Harry Potter, whom he reminds, "You have a power that Voldemort has never had.' 'I know!' said Harry impatiently. 'I can love!'"

Now, this is not new ground for children's literature, not even sci-fi/fantasy. In A Wrinkle in Time, Meg, to save her little brother, has to figure out the only power she possesses that the evil aliens don't; of course it's love. But Rowling's protagonist is more of a modern cynic than anyone Madeleine L'Engle dreamed up: the text of the above scene continues, "It was only with difficulty that [Harry] stopped himself adding, 'Big deal!'" A very believable reaction, given Harry's frustration with the ever-losing battle against Voldemort—and one today's teenagers can certainly relate to, which may be one reason for the series' popularity among youth despite its ultimately goody-two-shoes message.

Harder to account for are the objections of adults. Reportedly some feel disturbed by the way Rowling blurs the distinction between good and evil—Harry's inward grumbling is a case in point. More dangerously, in researching the past Harry often finds himself drawn to a morally ambiguous character. What better way to teach children and teenagers about good and evil than to show them the gray areas? Real evil is often hard to spot—outwardly appealing, even seductive, masquerading as goodness (self-righteousness) or innocence (deliberate blindness).

And so it's true: Hogwarts students are not necessarily learning to obey authority unquestioningly. Sixteen year old Harry stands up to the Minister of Magic, the head of the witch/wizard government, saying, "You're making Stan a scapegoat, just like you want to make me a mascot," when he refuses to become the Ministry's poster boy. What could be more admirable—or more appealing to an adolescent? And how can any thoughtful parent object? The Minister is more of a politician than a true leader, more concerned with his own image than with serving his constituents or Doing Good. Harry has learned to see through this hypocrisy. How threatening is that?

Curriculum

Hands-on learning is key at Hogwarts. Boring lectures are rare, and nearly every lesson ends with a practicum: students must cast their own spells, mix their own potions, "Apparate" themselves to the other side of the room, etc. And lest you question the rigor of a steady diet of Divination, Charms, Herbology, Occlumency, and Transfiguration, let me point out how impressed I am, as a 17-year veteran English teacher, by the sophistication and wit of J.K. Rowling's writing style. Youngsters are certainly improving their reading skills, not to mention their vocabularies, if they can get through several books of several hundred pages each containing grammatically correct, syntactically complex sentences such as this: "Had Lucius known he held a portion of his master's soul in his hands, he would undoubtedly have treated it with more reverence—but instead he went ahead and carried out the old plan for his own ends: By planting the diary upon Arthur Weasley's daughter, he hoped to discredit Arthur and get rid of a highly incriminating magical object in one stroke." Compare Harry Potter to Judy Moody or Junie B. Jones, and you'll see at once why he's superior. Regular exposure to witty wordplay, in the form of fictional names like "Narcissa" and "Sanguini" (a vampire character), can only improve your child's S.A.T. scores.

Aspiring witches and wizards receive rigorous preparation for their own standardized tests, which bear initials like "O.W.L." and "N.E.W.T."

Parents concerned about their children getting enough writing will be happy to hear that Hogwarts students are assigned a great many essays, and that modern technology such as the self-correcting quill pen does not relieve them of the responsibility to check their own spelling.

Sports

The athletics program at Hogwarts appears to be limited to Quidditch—but what a spectacular sport it is! Opportunities abound for the same kinds of rivalry, injury, and celebrity that we know in more traditional sports—plus the playing field is three-dimensional! Students untalented at Quidditch, such as Harry's friend Hermione Granger, are encouraged to settle for excelling in academics.

Administration and Faculty

Hogwarts is divided into four Houses: Gryffindor (Harry's house), Slytherin (home of the morally questionable, as the name implies), Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw, which compete for the annual Cup using a point system. Each house has its own Head. During the current leadership crisis, some of the Head jobs seem to be up for grabs.

As boarding schools go, Hogwarts does not provide quite as much supervision as might be hoped for. This is probably because, as a fictional character, Harry Potter joins a long line of adolescent protagonists, from Cinderella to Dorothy Gale to Aladdin, whose parents—after having apparently given them a strong foundation of love (thus making them lifelong Good Guys)—are now absent (usually dead); whose treatment at the hands of their stepparents ranges from benign neglect to outright abuse; and who are lucky enough to have gained one or more mentors (preferably possessing magical powers) who advise and protect them but provide none of the breathing-down-your-neck that a real parent does. Just like their real-life counterparts, Hogwarts teachers and administrators range from sinister and vindictive to utterly incompetent to wise and admirable--but always slightly remote and distracted, so that the adolescents can both get away with a lot and get into a lot of trouble. But at Hogwarts—as at many real-life boarding schools— relationships among peers are paramount. Students develop lifelong friendships and loyalties. An important part of Harry's moral development involves learning to stick up for nerds and to value the school's social outcasts.

While members of the faculty appear highly qualified within their fields, some betray questionable ethics, and they don't always treat their students fairly—though this may be because we're usually getting the story from the students' point of view. Most notably there's Harry's nemesis, the oily-haired Severus Snape, on whom a Muggle student of mine developed a wicked crush, which she wrote about to wonderful effect in her highly successful college admissions essay. A new character in the latest book, Professor Slughorn, is a toady who practices blatant favoritism, cultivating only students with high connections or special powers. Professor Trelawney has an obvious drinking problem, but it's only sherry bottles that Harry catches her hiding. Which brings us to ...

Rules of Comportment

I must admit, I was a bit uncomfortable at the number of times Harry and his friends sat down for a drink (usually butterbeer or mead) with their teachers. Judging from the way these beverages loosen tongues and promote conviviality, they contain alcohol—so what goes on in those British boarding schools, anyway?! With all the books' romances, now that Harry and his friends are teenagers (crushes, breakups, frustrations, love-hate relationships), there's "an awful lot of snogging," as one friend of mine put it. You might also be put off by a bit of bathroom humor; and the text indicates rather often that somebody "swore," although the actual swear words are not printed.

Rest assured, however, that transgressions at Hogwarts are noted and punished. Harry gets detention for talking back to Snape. Recalcitrant students lose points for their Houses. Assigned prefects among the students, such as Ron Weasley and the aforementioned Hermione, serve to police the younger students.

Admissions and Fees

Hogwarts does not take unsolicited applications. Qualified students are sought out and invited to attend. Diversity is highly valued; Hogwarts accepts students for their magical aptitude and does not discriminate against Muggles (regular human beings) or on any other basis of race, let alone creed, color, or sexual persuasion. Tuition, room and board are set at vague but apparently reasonable rates, which never seem to be a problem even for orphans like Harry.

Directions on getting to Hogwarts

Due to recent security measures, Apparating to Hogwarts is temporarily banned. Students who have been accepted may travel by train from King's Cross Station, platform 9 1/2 (to which access is gained by pushing purposefully at the barrier between platforms 9 and 10).

Supplies:

Students are encouraged to purchase all books and supplies, including wands and capes, at Diagon Alley prior to the start of the term.

How to contact Hogwarts:

Currently all correspondence should be addressed to:

Professor Minerva McGonagall

Acting Head of School

Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry

Hogsmeade, England

and preferably sent by owl post. Large donations from philanthropic organizations are most welcome, especially during the current crisis. The future of Hogwarts hangs in the balance.

[This article appears in the November 2005 issue of East Side Monthly.]